April 2019

Why Do We Have to Sleep Together?

I have a terrible secret. But I’m going to tell you about it now.

I hate sleeping in the same bed as my husband.

Actually, I hate sleeping in the same bed as anyone! I really treasure my sleep and when I get into bed, the last thing I want is sweaty hands touching me or yanking my pillow.  I especially hate those bouncy old coil spring mattresses that shake my side of the bed every time my husband rolls over. When Jeff and I first moved in together we went through every kind of mattress we could find — from exorbitantly priced horsehair (ouch!–too hard) to cotton-stuffed futons (too thin) — at the rate of a new mattress every three years. It wasn’t until memory foam came on the market that we finally found our bliss.  I’m a light sleeper and when the water buffalo next to me shifts position, I no longer bounce awake. Unfortunately, hotels and Airbnbs present high-risk mattresses.  For that reason, when we travel to bedrooms we don’t know, my husband automatically books twin beds! I guess he figured there’s nothing worse than waking up on a fabulous trip to Italy only to find his wife cranky and ornery from being jiggled all night.

Unfortunately, my inability to sleep nicely doesn’t just apply to my husband. I was never able to sleep with my kids either, especially once they started kicking and flailing around at night. So we put mattresses on the floor in our room right next to the bed instead. After 9/11, both of them slept there for a year.

My sleep habits have always made me feel like I’m falling down on my wifely or motherly duties. But lo and behold, we now find research that says how vital good sleep is to the aging process and we’ve even found a wonderful sleep doctor to interview who says it’s your duty to yourself to pull a Lucy and Ricky and sleep in separate beds (Read Catherine Lefebvre’s “Take a Sleepcation from Your Spouse”). If that water buffalo next to you happens to snore as well, feel free — ahem, you’d best — check into your kid’s old bedroom or the living room couch for a once a week sleepcation!  No more feeling guilty for me.  My weekly exits to the porch couch (did I mention my husband snores really loudly?) are now part of my legal obligation to be a trendsetter for this crowd.

Don’t miss our other fabulous articles in this issue: Diane di Costanzo’s hilarious investigation of all things CBD (“I am CBD Curious”), Katie Weisman’s fantastic report on how to finally find a freaking bra that fits (“Yes, Virginia, There is a Bra That Fits”), and Madhushree Gosh’s lovely essay about why she remained happily childfree (“Why I Decided to Remain Childfree by Choice”). Be inspired by Deanna Utroske’s article on three women who reinvented themselves into the indie beauty business (“3 Indie Beauty Brands Built by Late-in-Life Reinventors”), Kelly Jackson’s hilarious paean to working at home (“The Naked Truth About Working From Home”), Michelle Moskowitz’s investigation of what changing your online profile picture can do for your personal and work life (“What Your Profile Picture Says About You”), and the good works of our woman of passion & purpose, Dr. Jane Aronson (“The Orphan Doctor”).  And last but not least, please read Lisa Rabasca Roepe’s great interview with activist Allison Fine who is creating a network of mentors and educational tools to help all our newly elected female officials navigate the harassment and obstacles that come with those jobs (“Help Elected Women Stay in Their Jobs”). Who knew that getting elected would not be the hardest part of it!?

I hope you enjoy this issue of TheCovey and will add your comments and share the articles with friends. Please email me at lesley@coveyclub.com with any ideas or opinions about what we can do better. We’re also always looking for great stories and great interviews.

And lastly: take your Covey experience to the next level by joining us this Veterans Day at our Civana spa retreat in Carefree, Arizona. We want to meet you and connect you to new friends and business partners who believe this is the most amazing time of their life. We are booking up fast, so sign up now!

Have a great April!